Once there was a little girl who was looking for a church.  The first church she visited was too formal.  The second was too modern.  The third one was just right... at least for awhile until her needs changed.  Then she went looking for something that met her new needs, including a better children's ministry.

Ah, such a classic fairy tale.  It is one that many of us may be familiar with.  The great American tradition of finding a good church.  It is like looking for shoes.  You want something that will be a comfortable fit and wear well.  You don't want it too tight or too loose.  After you have worn them awhile you might need to go get a new pair.    This is the approach a lot of people take with looking for a church.  Only problem is, I believe this approach is fundamentally flawed.

First, the church is something we are, not something we attend.  A single church service should not be the beginning and the end of our church life.  "Going to church" should involve being a part of the body of Christ and establishing accountable relationships with a body and its leadership.  The style of the music and other worship elements on a Sunday morning should be very secondary to more important elements.  Are you being equipped to be a disciple and a disciple-maker?  Is the Gospel being presented & proclaimed?  Are people being held accountable and sharing their lives with each other?  These vital functions of the church go way beyond what music was played during the Sunday morning service.

Second, the church is something you contribute to more than consume.  Church should be approached as marriage, not dating.  You make a commitment and work to make it work rather than try something out to see if it is fun and dump it if it is not.  This should not be just about getting your needs met, but instead finding a place where you will be pushed to grow, contribute and serve.  So many people, especially in our culture today, are not into making a commitment and serving.  They are looking for a social spot and perhaps a fun place for the kids.  Service, well, we're really busy.

Let us remember that Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life.  We are called to have the same attitude.  I personally have seen many times where a person has left our church in search for some ministry rather than staying to work to provide a ministry to the church.  I know other pastors who are in desperate need of workers but can't get them, not because they don't invest in people or preach the Gospel, but simply because their church can not offer the service that people are looking for.  If people would come to provide service instead of receive service, their churches would be growing leaps and bounds.

So, whether you go to Bean's Corner or another church or whether you are shopping.  Are you looking for a place to commit to, to serve in? Or are you looking for a good fit where you can best get your needs met and have a nice comfortable experience?    I encourage you to commit and serve and leave the shopping to Wal*Mart & Target.

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins And blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalms 51:7-10)

After David had sinned with Bathsheba, Nathan finally confronts David and points out his sin.  David is crushed.  In the psalm above he compares it to having his bones broken.  That's how it feels when you are confronted and told that you are wrong or in sin.  Years ago in my first church as youth pastor, some of my teens confronted me about something they thought I was doing wrong. They felt I was playing favorites. It wasn't a sin issue, but it was something that I should have known better.    I hadn't meant to, but when they pointed it out, I could see that they were right.  To say it was a humbling experience doesn't really capture my feelings that night.  More like humiliation.  Not only had I messed up, but others had noticed and pointed it out.  I wanted to argue with them but they were right.  I thanked them for confronting me and praised them for their bravery.  They were very relieved.  They had been really afraid that I wasn't going to listen and might be upset with them.  I told them that it was hard to be upset with them when they were right.    But it sure didn't feel good.  Reminds me of another passage in Proverbs.

Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:5-6)

Sometimes we want "fair weather friends."  We want people to always be on what we perceive as "our side" and always agree with us.  But that is not helpful, mature, or even realistic.  The best of us make mistakes and can at times be rather myopic in our view of ourselves.  In David's case, he went a whole year in the sin with Bathsheba but had apparently been able to justify it so that he didn't feel guilty.  Nathan's rebuke finally shattered whatever construct that he had built to avoid facing his actions.  Sometimes when someone tries to shatter our constructs, we fight back.  We say that such "wounds" are the mark of an enemy.  We would rather be kissed.  Unfortunately, that is the opposite of what we see in that Proverbs passage.  Sometimes a true friend is going to wound us and that is good for us.   They are faithful wounds.

I am thankful for men in my life who aren't afraid to wound me.  They are not trying to hurt me, but they realize that honesty is more loving than flattery.  May I never be too proud or obstinate to refuse to listen to such wounding.  May I never be so blind as to refuse to be be broken when I need to be.  After all "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."  (Psalms 51:17)

Well it has been a quiet Thanksgiving.  Last week we celebrated with Sarah's folks since her whole family was going out of state this weekend.  We always planned to stay home on Thursday and then travel to mom's on Friday for an overnight and to meet with my sister and brother-in-law.  However, due to the fact that we had some illness in the house during the week, we've been asked to stay home.  Daughter was sick on Sunday night, Sarah on Monday evening, younger son Tuesday into Wednesday.  By yesterday afternoon everyone seems to be better and no symptoms today.  By tomorrow hopefully we will be in the clear.  Its like having leprosy, no one wants to get close.  :)

So, a quiet holiday.  We watched the parade yesterday and rested.  We had a dinner together as a family at noon time today with a nice table cloth and candle.  It was a good meal together.  My eyes are much better (got conjunctivitis on Monday.  No one else has gotten it and its mostly cleared up now).  Going to be another quiet night and probably another quiet day tomorrow.  With all this quiet time you would think that I would have everything done for Sunday but that is not the case.   Haven't seemed to be able to get the right thoughts together to finish it.  Hopefully tonight or tomorrow I will be able to.  If not, Sunday might be interesting.  :)

Well, just wanted to get a blog post written since it has been two weeks or so since I got the last one done.  I'm sure there will be something quite inspirational in the next one.  Until then, Happy Thanksgiving!  :)

But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. "It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:25-28 NAS)

For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (Ephesians 5:23-25 NAS)

I wanted to stick these two passages together to remind us of the perspective of what leadership, including and especially family leadership, means.  Too often in churches and in families, leadership has come to mean lordship.  The pastor runs and rules the church.  In some families, especially more conservative religious families, the husband/father rules the home.  In some cases I have seen churches or homes are ruled with something approaching an iron fist.   Then there are those who don't want to do that and are more absentee leaders.  They let things just kind of run themselves and don't jump in unless there's a big problem.

Both are unhealthy approaches.  And unBiblical.

What we see in these passages above, and others, is an active and involved leader, but one whose activity is focused on serving, not reigning.

So how does that work here at the Hall house?  Well, lately, it has meant that I am working extra hard at cleaning the kitchen.  The kitchen is the heart of our home.  It is the heart for two reasons.  One, it is the key physical nexus of the house.  We enter and exit through the kitchen.  The kids do school at the kitchen table.  Three meals and a snack are consumed at the table each day.  We are more apt to gather, talk, and meet in the kitchen.  Second, the kitchen is at the heart of my wife.  She loves to cook and is almost always working on something whether it is for our family, or for someone outside.    One of the number one ways that I can show love and leadership for my family is to clean that kitchen.  Clean it well and often.  Do dishes, sweep, do dishes, pick up, do dishes.  Get the picture?  :)

As we work on our 13th year of marriage, I continue to learn and grow in the area of serving my family.  I have a very busy plate when it comes to ministry.  I am chronically behind in projects, in visiting, in correspondence, in reading.  And sometimes that work load has caused me to focus a little too much on what I need to do ministry-wise and not enough on what I need to do husband/father-wise.  But I am learning.  I may actually have to accept getting  a little less done in some areas, but if it means that my wife feels supported and cared for because every time she turns around I have helped her keep that kitchen clean, it is more than worth it!

I guess you could say that I am not "ruling" my house with an iron fist, a velvet glove or a combo of the two.  I am seeking to rule my house with dishpan hands.

I challenge you husbands out there.  Are you serving and slaving your way to the top?

Time for a personal post.  Today was a really good day.  And what was really good about it was how simple it was.  It was a family day. Stick with me, I'll have a point to make through all this.  ;)

Started last night when I stayed up late (after watching a movie with some guy friends) cleaning the kitchen really well so that my wife would get up to a clean kitchen.  This is one of the greater acts of love I can show my wife.  Always feel good when I can do that.  She reciprocated this morning by shutting off my alarm and letting me catch up on sleep this morning (she worries about me.  :)  )

Today she went to work and I had the kids.  While the oldest finished her school work, I had a good long visit with my mom and the phone.   Good time.  Then I sent all the kids outside while I made lunch.  While they ate lunch I sang to them and talked with them.  We had a good time.  Then sent them back out.  Joined them later this afternoon while I worked in the yard getting ready for winter and having fun with them.  Supper together as a family.  Cleaned the kitchen again while Sarah got some time with the kids reading the book she is doing with them (Laura Ingalls Wilder).  Then we tucked them in and prayed with them.  Then it was sit on the couch together to watch NCIS: LA, and Jeopardy.

Sound boring?  It was glorious.  This is what homelife can be.  We focus on one another, build calm and close loving relationships.  It was a peaceful day.  Peace.  We all need that and the kids especially need that peace and stability that comes from Dad & Mom spending time together and with them.  So often these days homes are chaotic, frantic, busy.  I am most definitely a busy man, but I cannot allow us to become so busy that we lose the peace of our home.  That is more important than a busy social calendar, challenging activity schedule, or ministry.  This will be a busy week with Deaconess meeting for Sarah, IV speaking for me, and our normal stuff.  But we will stay at peace and make sure that our home is one that the kids feel is quiet and secure, no matter what the waves of our life are.

It was a good day.