Crushing Guilt

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins And blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalms 51:7-10)

After David had sinned with Bathsheba, Nathan finally confronts David and points out his sin.  David is crushed.  In the psalm above he compares it to having his bones broken.  That's how it feels when you are confronted and told that you are wrong or in sin.  Years ago in my first church as youth pastor, some of my teens confronted me about something they thought I was doing wrong. They felt I was playing favorites. It wasn't a sin issue, but it was something that I should have known better.    I hadn't meant to, but when they pointed it out, I could see that they were right.  To say it was a humbling experience doesn't really capture my feelings that night.  More like humiliation.  Not only had I messed up, but others had noticed and pointed it out.  I wanted to argue with them but they were right.  I thanked them for confronting me and praised them for their bravery.  They were very relieved.  They had been really afraid that I wasn't going to listen and might be upset with them.  I told them that it was hard to be upset with them when they were right.    But it sure didn't feel good.  Reminds me of another passage in Proverbs.

Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:5-6)

Sometimes we want "fair weather friends."  We want people to always be on what we perceive as "our side" and always agree with us.  But that is not helpful, mature, or even realistic.  The best of us make mistakes and can at times be rather myopic in our view of ourselves.  In David's case, he went a whole year in the sin with Bathsheba but had apparently been able to justify it so that he didn't feel guilty.  Nathan's rebuke finally shattered whatever construct that he had built to avoid facing his actions.  Sometimes when someone tries to shatter our constructs, we fight back.  We say that such "wounds" are the mark of an enemy.  We would rather be kissed.  Unfortunately, that is the opposite of what we see in that Proverbs passage.  Sometimes a true friend is going to wound us and that is good for us.   They are faithful wounds.

I am thankful for men in my life who aren't afraid to wound me.  They are not trying to hurt me, but they realize that honesty is more loving than flattery.  May I never be too proud or obstinate to refuse to listen to such wounding.  May I never be so blind as to refuse to be be broken when I need to be.  After all "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."  (Psalms 51:17)