KP Duty-A General's Tale

But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. "It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:25-28 NAS)

For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (Ephesians 5:23-25 NAS)

I wanted to stick these two passages together to remind us of the perspective of what leadership, including and especially family leadership, means.  Too often in churches and in families, leadership has come to mean lordship.  The pastor runs and rules the church.  In some families, especially more conservative religious families, the husband/father rules the home.  In some cases I have seen churches or homes are ruled with something approaching an iron fist.   Then there are those who don't want to do that and are more absentee leaders.  They let things just kind of run themselves and don't jump in unless there's a big problem.

Both are unhealthy approaches.  And unBiblical.

What we see in these passages above, and others, is an active and involved leader, but one whose activity is focused on serving, not reigning.

So how does that work here at the Hall house?  Well, lately, it has meant that I am working extra hard at cleaning the kitchen.  The kitchen is the heart of our home.  It is the heart for two reasons.  One, it is the key physical nexus of the house.  We enter and exit through the kitchen.  The kids do school at the kitchen table.  Three meals and a snack are consumed at the table each day.  We are more apt to gather, talk, and meet in the kitchen.  Second, the kitchen is at the heart of my wife.  She loves to cook and is almost always working on something whether it is for our family, or for someone outside.    One of the number one ways that I can show love and leadership for my family is to clean that kitchen.  Clean it well and often.  Do dishes, sweep, do dishes, pick up, do dishes.  Get the picture?  :)

As we work on our 13th year of marriage, I continue to learn and grow in the area of serving my family.  I have a very busy plate when it comes to ministry.  I am chronically behind in projects, in visiting, in correspondence, in reading.  And sometimes that work load has caused me to focus a little too much on what I need to do ministry-wise and not enough on what I need to do husband/father-wise.  But I am learning.  I may actually have to accept getting  a little less done in some areas, but if it means that my wife feels supported and cared for because every time she turns around I have helped her keep that kitchen clean, it is more than worth it!

I guess you could say that I am not "ruling" my house with an iron fist, a velvet glove or a combo of the two.  I am seeking to rule my house with dishpan hands.

I challenge you husbands out there.  Are you serving and slaving your way to the top?