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Pastor's Window
A look at life and ministry.

Playing with Riches

  05/21/12 23:09, by , Categories: Family, Living Life, Personal Reflections, Dads & Families, Theology Lived

I'm a rich man.  I've been reflecting on that lately.  With the fast approaching birth of #4, I've been thinking a lot about my family.  God has certainly blessed me beyond measure.  I took today off and ate all three meals with my kids today.  I hugged and cuddled each of my kids today too.  I helped my daughter with her school work this morning and had a good time just connecting with her and teaching her not only about school stuff, but about me and her.  It was a good day.  I can't believe my daughter is about to turn 9 or that the boys are getting so big.  #3 has grown so much in his ability to express himself in complex ways.  Tonight we sat together as a family and watched  a PBS special on whales and dolphins.  The kids were facinated and #3 was repeating facts to us that he found interesting.

All that to say that I am a rich man, blessed by the wonderful children God has given me.  I am amazed in how much they learn, how quickly they learn, and how much they blossom every time I make sure that I take a few minutes to pour my life into them a little bit.   I am reading a fun book to them and those times are precious.  We have actually read a couple of books through so far ("The Phantom Tollbooth" and "The Trumpet of the Swan").  My daughter and I are also reading "The Hobbit" at night after the boys have gone to bed.  Each moment enriches me more.

It is not enough for my kids to be in my home and in my life.  I must be in their life.  If I'm not deep in it now, I won't be later.  You don't have to push me or guilt me into it though, because I can't resist them.  They are my second calling (after my wife).  With all apologies to my church, but the church and outside ministry is clearly my third calling.  In fact, the more I invest in my first callings, the more rewarding my third calling is because I have more strength to take into the church as I am supported by my family, enriched by my family, and my family becomes a part of the image of Christ that I share with the church.

I'm getting eager to meet #4.  As a younger, single man, I knew I wanted to be a Dad, but I had no idea just how rewarding it would be!

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Real Men

  05/08/12 23:47, by , Categories: Living Life, Personal Reflections, Dads & Families, Theology Lived
Real Men

The individual above is not a real man.  He may look like one and you could be forgiven for thinking he is one since he is 23 years old.  He certainly should be a man by now.  But he is not a real man by my definition.  A police affidavit says he told police he got frustrated at his two and a half month old son's crying Saturday morning, held him suspended by his head and threw him into a living room chair. The baby was hospitalized with severe bleeding around his brain and has died.  This is not the act of a real man.

Now I am not condemning this man, although many will feel he deserves it.  He deserves the punishment the courts will meet out and I pray for him.  I hope that he finds forgiveness in Jesus and can come to grow up past this terrible act he has committed.

Real men do not hit children, nor women.  Real men shouldn't even need to be hitting other men.  When it comes to family a real man serves.    I talked about this recently in my post, Serve Harder.  Real men take responsibility and serve.  They lead, they don't push.  This is tough.  I have NEVER used violence on my family (or others) but I can be verbally aggressive.  I don't yell, but I can be impatient and sound very displeased, speaking in a way that is not full of grace.  Of course, I could tell you I have good reason.  But do I ever have good reason for not thinking of others, especially my family first?  Sure, the case of this young man is extreme.  We would never do such a thing.  But how often do I do this sort of thing in my own gentle way?  We have been fighting the clutter war at my house.  I am not the only one who contributes.  In fact, I am 1/5 or the problem.  Some days, less.  So I can get a little impatient with the other members of this household and I can push them.  Yes, I have a pregnant wife, and yes she takes a lot more of the load of taking care of the kids, but really, she should be doing more!  I can get frustrated.  Not justifiable homicide, only justifiable frustration/indignation.  Ok, so its not baby killing, but it is also not serving.  Not being a real man.

So here's a radical thought, especially for those who have been raised to think in Puritan terms.  I do not believe that as a husband, I have the right to tell my wife what to do, or to force her to do things, either through guilt, or emotional pressure, fear, etc.  I can lovingly invite her to join me in things, but the minute she feels forced, I have moved outside of the servanthood that characterizes real manhood.  I looked in the Bible.  There is not one verse I could find that says that wives/women are supposed to serve their husbands.  It does say they are to submit which you can interpret as obey, but where are the verses telling the husband to order or command?  Not one.  Instead, the husband is commanded to be gentle, to serve, to be understanding. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).     Every verse I found that told a wife to submit or even obey was immediately followed by comparing the husband to Christ. Christ died for His bride. "just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:28).     So I do not have the right to tell my wife what to do.  I have the right to serve her, give myself up for her, to lead by example and welcome her into life with me.  When I do that, God has commanded her to respect me, to follow me, and to submit to my humble service to her.

The boy in the picture didn't serve his son, he hurt him, fatally.  I have sometimes been guilty of hurting my wife and kids.  I have never left a physical mark, but through selfishness and lack of service, I have left emotional marks.  Real men don't hurt their families, they serve them.  Join me, men.  Put away your harsh words or attitudes.  Stop being pushy and bossy.  I don't care what you think needs to be done, do it yourself and invite them to follow you gently, don't try to force obedience from your family.  Real men don't do that.

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My Own Little World

  05/01/12 13:26, by , Categories: Living Life, My Life, Dads & Families, Theology Lived

Intensive study this morning getting ready for next weeks sermon.  It has been a gut shaking, exciting morning in God's Word.  I get energized and want to go out and preach this today.  It is also intense conviction of my very sorry state.

Jesus, the creator and sustainer of the universe, is God.  I am about as far from that as I can get.  Yet my daily concerns are almost always centered on me.  Even when I think I have gone beyond myself, I still find myself so focused on this world and not the larger reality of God.  I pray for my wife and kids every day, but my prayer is incredibly earth bound.  I pray that they will sleep well, that they will be well, that they will be safe, that nothing bad will happen to them but that their life will be full of earthly goodness.  Now if a life full of earthly goodness also glorifies God, then that's great, but my primary concern is their well-being, not their ability to glorify God.  Nor mine.  Don't get me wrong, I want to glorify God.  I have given my life to His service.  But that service is proscribe, sometimes very tightly, by my earthly viewpoint.

What if God's glory requires something different?  Throughout the Bible, God has often found glory through the suffering of His servants, and yet they often times were able to look at that suffering as a joy simply because they saw that suffering gave them what they needed; to glorify God.  The Christians of the first century were often excited when they found out they could be martyred, not because they were gluttons for punishment but because they were more focused on God's kingdom than this little world we live in here.

We, like Mary and Martha, cry over the death of a loved one.  It is not wrong to miss them, but we often act like this is the world that matters and we lose so easily the perspective of the "real" world of God.  Jesus tries to wake Mary and Martha up a little.  "I am the resurrection and the life."  Why are they so upset when Lazarus isn't dead, he's in heaven.  So caught up in their little world and Jesus so focused in the real world, His Kingdom.  I'm the same way as those ladies.  My daily concerns are primarily of this little world.  I pray for my day, my car, cold viruses, rain, and food.  How sad is it that so much of my life, my day, my prayers are taken up with the items of this little world.  The things of this world are passing away.  May I learn to get my focus more completely and more consistenly on His world, His kingdom.  Those are the prayers God longs to answer!!!

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Happy Name Day

  04/26/12 15:19, by , Categories: Announcements, Family, Living Life, Dads & Families
Happy Name Day

Today is #3's Name Day!  At least that's what my oldest has informed us.    In one of the books she recently read, it discussed the tradition of a Name Day that is actually celebrated in many countries.  She decided that we all needed a Name Day and so she picked out a date for each member of the family.  She has now been planning for several days for her younger brother's Name Day celebration.  She decorated his room (partially seen in the picture above), arranged his toy cars and his stuffed animals with additional Name Day banners, made him a Name Day crown out of paper and dandelions and then walked the family through the rituals of a Name Day celebration.  It was a lot of fun!

I am very thankful for my daughter.  I like that she is such a good party planner and so enjoys making events, planning them, and carrying them out.  She is really good at caring for and making her younger siblings feel special.  I like that her creativity gives us some extra, special family moments together.  It allows us to bond even closer as a family and enjoy one another.  I'm also glad that she loves to read and learns things that she then adds to our lives, like Name Day.  I had never heard of it before.  Homeschool teaches me too.  :)

Well, the Name Day celebration is over and I need to get back to work, but I just wanted to share the joy of our family Name Day celebration.  She now has a list on the wall with all of our dates.  Mine isn't until December, so there is still time to shop for my Name Day gift!

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Riding a Bike

  04/25/12 17:41, by , Categories: Stray Thoughts, Personal Reflections

Between Co-op on Monday and traveling today to two different chapels, it has reminded me how much I enjoy youth ministry.  Over the years as I have gotten older and new ministries have come my way, I have had less specialized focus on youth ministry.  To be sure I am still involved with youth group and camp, but these days I am not in the thick of things but more working in the background.  However, building relationships with the teens at co-op and going to these chapels remind me how much I really enjoy working with teens and the special rapport God has always given me with them.    There are some that think youth ministry is the province of the young and that is often the case, but too often I think that is more a function of the fact that as we get older, we move on to other things.  I do not think it is a result of being less effective.  In fact, I think I am probably more effective now as I have more maturity and wisdom than I had back when I was a young youth pastor.  Also, in these days with so many broken and dysfunctional families, father figures are more vital than ever in ministry.  My Dad always had a great rapport with teens and enjoyed ministering to them.  He never lost his touch.  It is good for me to remember this gift that God has given me and to make sure, as I do many other things, that I don't lose sight of that part of my ministry focus.  I love it too much to lose it and I think it is still very useful.  Even when I haven't been doing it for a bit, its like riding a bike.

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A look at life and ministry.

About the Author

After growing up in Maine, Ira graduated from Bible College and wandered into Western Maine and has never found his way back out. He has a deep love for the rural churches of Maine and the people who make up this great state. He loves Truth over Tradition, Christ over Culture, and People over Process. He love to equip, teach, and disciple and longs to see the Maine church grow healthy and make disciples.


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