Perils of Shepherds: Lamb Chops

You're a pastor/leader of a church.  You have been given the job of shepherding people and trying to lead them to Christ and a life that reflects Him.  Problem is, those sheep sometimes wander.  Sometimes they just don't listen or respond very well.  Sometimes they have attitudes and actions that just aren't moving in the right direction.  How frustrating!  What is wrong with these people?!   Add that to the frustration you feel toward the rampant sin in the world and the slide of our society and pretty soon you might even be angry.  "It's righteous anger at sin."  and on the coals of that anger, some sheep just might get barbecued.

In my about four decades of being in the New England church, I have witnessed a lot of pastors who, with a passion for God, have pushed sheep, verbally hit sheep, alienated sheep, and injured sheep.  In many cases I have watched these shepherds feel perfectly justified because the sheep in question was in the wrong and therefore had it coming.  In the spirit of "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs", they feel that certain sheep, the ones who aren't on board, don't support, are in sin, etc., may need to be sacrificed.

Oh boy, Ira.  Are you advocating for a touchy-feely, coddle sin, ignore Biblical calls to righteousness, etc. and just try to keep people happy?  NO!  The message of the cross is going to be offensive and will not make sinners happy.  What I am talking about is the attitude of the shepherd in delivering the message of the cross and helping the sheep apply it.

Speak the Truth

preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. (2 Timothy 4:2-5)

We pastors/leaders are called to shepherd the church of God using the Word of God.  We must teach the whole thing.  We can't just cater to what people want to hear.  There are many "inconvenient" truths in the Bible and all of them must be taught.  The american culture is continuing to slide into more sin.  Even when many of the culture's moral stands were more Judeo-Christian, parts of society were still pretty unBiblical  (materialism, self-determination, etc.).  These days we struggle with many other pervasive sin issues (sexual immorality: pornography hard & soft, divorce, homosexuality, care for poor, celebration of violence, etc.).  We need to address all of these from a Biblical standpoint so that people can turn to Christ more readily and be free from the entangling sins.  How we do that is important.

In Love

For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed--God is witness-- nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority. But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, (1 Thessalonians 2:5-11)

Paul was never a punch-puller, but here he reveals how he conducted himself.  He compares his approach to a nursing mother.  Since Sarah is nursing our youngest, this is a vivid picture for me.  The tenderness this invokes.  The baby has some teeth in and sometimes bites.  That is not pleasant nor allowed.  She always corrects it immediately.  Her gentleness does not vanish during that correction.  That leads to the second image Paul invokes, that of a father.  This one is where some pastors get tripped up and I myself must be on my guard.  I have known some pastors who treated their congregation exactly like they treated their kids, and gentle is not the word that springs to mind.   How do you handle disobedience and the need for correction?  Is it with gentleness?  There have been times when my exasperation and impatience has caused me to transgress.  The correction was important and necessary, the method risked provoking my children to wrath.   I can't permit that in myself and it must not be the style I employ at church either.  This is why Paul felt it important to look at how a leader handles his family before he is selected to shepherd.

He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), (1 Timothy 3:4-5)

An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, (1 Timothy 3:2)

I have a sign in my office that my kids love to giggle at.  It says, "Don't bolt when the sheep poop on you."  I got it from a pastors' conference I went to a few years ago.  Sometimes working with people is very tiring and frustrating (ask anyone in customer service).  When you add the feeling of responsibility that a pastor can feel as caretaker and supposed builder of the church [Even though Christ is the one that is going to build the church, as leaders we often feel that subconscious pressure that we need to do better in this department], the pressure can really be intense.  When you get pooped on, bitten by, or just seemingly ignored by those who you care about, it can bring out your human frustration and unless you get yourself under the control of the Spirit quickly you may turn around and get your frustration all over that same sheep, or other unsuspecting ones who are in your way.

The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, (2 Timothy 2:24-25)

Patient when wronged and gentle when correcting are lifestyles that can be hard to carry out, especially if you are a Type A, Expressive, Emoter, Extrovert, fill-in-the-blank personality excuse.  There is never a time when love is an inappropriate response.  We can and should deliver hard truths and exhortations.  We need to confront sin and stand against unrighteousness.  We just need to remember that even if we have all knowledge, all faith, and an angelic tongue and yet leave out love, we are just making an unpleasant noise (1 Cor. 13).  I have offended a few people in the last few years.  These people have reported that I was mean to them and that I pushed them away.  What did I do?  Do I have some serious repenting to do?  Actually, what I said went along these lines.  "I love you very much and I am very concerned for you.   You are turning away from following Christ and that decision is going to cause you great harm.  I care about you too much to ignore this and I want to beg you to turn from this choice and embrace Christ."  Etc.   The message of the cross, the call to Christ was so offensive that they recoiled from me.  How I delivered the message was not offensive, nor did it need to be.  I was loving, peaceable, and inviting, but I did not soft sell or minimize sin nor the self-denial that a walk with Christ demands.    This is the truth in love.  I have watched some Christians speak in insensitive and unloving ways and then excuse the poor response by blaming the offense of the Gospel, but if the person is finding you offensive, perhaps they didn't really notice the message.

Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. (Colossians 4:5-6)

As a pastor, I must be an example of grace speech and this verse from Paul in Colossians is very convicting because it says that my speech should always be with grace.  'Always' is a big word that I fall very short of.  No excuse though.  I must Let the word of Christ richly dwell within me, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in my heart to God. (Colossians 3:16).  You will know that I am displaying that wisdom, not by hearing me say the words, "the Bible says" or being all 'pastoral' on you, but by the indications of that wisdom described in James.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:17-18)

My passion for the Maine church has a lot to do with encouraging Shepherds to be kind and gentle with the sheep.  When we are, we will actually find it easier to say the hard things, to stand up for the hard truths, to proclaim firmly from our pulpits the fear of the Lord.   I proclaim a cross which is a stumbling block.  May I never be the stumbling block that trips them before they get to the cross!

Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. (Philippians 4:5)