When It Gets Hard

I got news today that punched me in the gut. I found out that a friend of mine (not from our church or town)has left his wife and small children and begun an affair. He says he cannot do it anymore. This news devastates me. I know this guy. He is a Christian. He has told people he knows that everything he is doing right now is wrong, but he is going to do it anyway. That thought, knowing its wrong but pursuing it anyway sums up a lot. (see previous post on "the facts". Most of the time, when I do something wrong, whether it is a selfish attitude toward my wife or kids, anger, laziness, etc. I know its wrong but I am too tired/angry/hurt/needy to push myself to do the right thing. This brings my thoughts to Jesus in the garden. He was tired, stressed out, and scared. He did not want to go through with it. It was too hard, too scary, too much. Even though this is the very reason He came, now that the time has come, he doesn't want to. He knows what the right thing is, but THREE times he prays and begs God the Father to let Him out of it. Imagine the horror if Jesus had said, "I know its wrong, but I'm too tired. I'm sick of being misunderstood, misused, unappreciated, and attacked. I know its probably not what I should do, but I'm out of here." No salvation, no heaven, no victory for us. No relationship with God. But Jesus, even though He felt the same way we do, had one crucial phrase; "not my will but yours be done." He didn't do what He wanted. When it got hard and He wanted to quit, He didn't. I hope that's me and all of us. When it gets hard, when I am at my most selfish. Not my will be done.