I found myself struggling with sadness and discouragement today as I got word of someone who has decided to be mad at me but would rather just be mad and assume the worst than to come to me and try to talk through things. This is not a rare occurrence in churches, but it still really kills me because I really try and don't understand that reaction. [have I mentioned how thankful I am for the peacemaker material which gives us a Biblical framework for how to deal with these things and makes it pretty obvious when someone refuses to do the Biblical thing?]
The point is that I just felt sick to my stomach and sad. It doesn't help that I am overtired today. Well, my first instinct was to call one of the deacons to talk, which helped. My next instinct was to call one of my Christian brothers to talk, which helped. Then I finally did what I should have done first. I got down on my knees (literally) and spent some time crying out (also literally) to God. I thanked Him for His spurs. Sometimes he has to dig them into my side, causing pain, to keep me in His strength and out of mine, to keep my eyes on Him. I need to be reminded that when something hurtful or frustrating like this happens, that I need to thank God for it and see it as a spur. As the peacemaker material reminds us, conflict is an opportunity. That action really helped. Finally I could eat some lunch. God got my focus back where it belongs, on Him. I had to confess my slowness in turning this over to him. I can be such a fool. :)
So what will I do with this individual. Rather they will listen or respond or not, I will go to them, with help, and try to connect. My responsibility is to try to have a Biblical response, no matter what the other person's behavior is. Keep me in prayer as I do that.
In other thoughts, I enjoyed the morning service this morning. I also look forward to resuming the peacemaker series next week.
Boy, got to catch the fourth quarter of the Colts game this afternoon. Never saw a fourth quarter like that!! Wow!
