Notes on Mentoring

Once again I want to share some of the awesome teaching and challenge we received at the CEF pastors conference last week. God really taught me a lot and challenged me a great deal. Today I want to share some of the things that Barry Beebe taught concerning men and their families. "Men reach men. Seldom do women or children reach men. Men motivate men spritually. Women rarely motivate men spiritually. It is often a male pride issue. Men can inspire women, young men, young ladies, children and teens. Men are motivated by men, not women, not children, not programs. When kids, and especially boys, hit the teenage years, they will be motivated by men, not women and without men stepping forward, you loose the teens." This challenged me in one really big area that Barry talked about: Mentoring my wife. I had, I'm sorry to say, never thought about it in exactly those terms. Sarah and I are partners, friends, lovers, parents, etc. She is my best friend. I love to talk with her and spend time with her. We have great communication together. But this was missing. I have not been much of a mentor to her. I didn't think about how it is my role to personally teach and encourage my wife as a mentor. As a friend, sure, but not as a mentor. It has been great to get this challenge of what it means to be spiritual head of my household. The great sadness in me is that it is in my 11th year of marriage that I really start understanding this in a new way. Why has this not been modeled and demonstrated and talked about in church!? Is it because almost no one is doing this? I have known too many pastors (including a former pastor of mine who is now divorced) that have not even come close on this point. Well, its time to make a change. Sarah and I have really been talking about this and she is really happy to hear that I am ready to do more, to add this dynamic, that has been mostly missing, to our relationship. She was excited, relieved, appreciative, to say the least. As Barry shared, as I do this, she will also mentor me back as we encourage each other, but as the man, it is my job to initiate and begin this process. If you go to BCBC, you have not heard the last of this. We are going to talk about this in the coming months and I plan to challenge all our men to make sure that they are not just being nice, supportive, friendly husbands, but mentors of their wives and kids. If the men don't step forward, we lose. I am excited. I hope this challenges you.