I will probably come back and write more on this topic later on when I am a little less tired, but some more reading in my book has brought me to a discussion on ladder climbing.  David Hansen talks about the dangers and damage of seeking to be a ladder climber in ministry.  It was very powerful stuff.   Although I have been accused of ladder climbing before by some who were trying to shift blame and attention, ladder climbing has not been a primary concern of mine.  You don't purposely move to western Maine from Lancaster County, PA or even Southern Maine and plan to stay there.  You don't turn down positions in Portland area, Auburn area, or Waterville area churches to stay in small rural churches with almost no kids if you are looking to make a name for yourself in ministry.

All I have wanted to do, is to be effective serving. But I understand the allure of the ladder.  I, in my flesh, desire to climb ladders.  I look at what others have for opportunities and my heart begins to covet.  And I have to stop, repent, refocus.

Jesus, as the author points out, was encouraged to climb a lot of ladders.  They wanted to elevate Him.  He ignored all the ladders.  "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life..."   The way of the cross is toward greater humility, more sacrifice, less power, position, glory.  The way of the cross is downward, not upward.  "If any man come after me, let him deny himself.......He who finds his life will lose it, but he who loses his life for my sake will find it....whoever shall be the greatest among you will be the servant of all."  I must constantly watch the sinful flesh in me that eyes the ladder.  I must embrace the chute everytime.  Deny myself.   That's why I don't like to be called "Pastor" instead of "Ira".  Some disagree.  They say, you deserve respect.  But that attracts the attention of my pride.  I reach for that bottom rung.  No, I'm just Ira.  I'm not here to gain respect, I'm here to serve.

As a kid (and even now) I always enjoyed slidding down the hill more than climbing up it.  That is the best approach to ministry.  Aim for the chutes, avoid the ladders.

I ended up bringing quite a few Dominican Republic Pesos back home with me.  I had a pocketfull of the coins and didn't really have much to spend them on.  I have a 20 Peso bill as well.  The other day at Save-A-Lot I offered one to the clerk.  She was amused and facinated but of course couldn't take it.  I'll just hold on to these, give a couple to the kids to have as souveniers and the rest I will take back down to spend next year assuming the Lord allows me to go back.

Now here's what it made me think of.  It's like money and our other earthly treasures.  They are ok while we visit here, but they have no value when we get home.  Earthly treasures are the wrong currency for heaven.  God urges us to start now to save up heavenly treasure that doesn't lose its value, can not be stolen or lost.  And like the difference between a U.S. Dollar and a D.R. Pesos, the heavenly currency is worth so much more.

Another interesting note.  I could use my U.S. Dollars pretty much anywhere down in the DR, but I can't use my DR currency anywhere up here.  That's another parallel with heaven.  The heavenly treasures that we can work toward now will also give us value in this life.  Giving your life, your resources, everything to God isn't just good for when we get to heaven, its good now.

So, what are you earning, what are you spending, and what treasures do you have?  You can't take some of them with you and, even if you could, they wouldn't be of any value to you.

God is using the book I am reading, The Art of Pastoring by David Hansen, to really rip and tear at my insides.  Already the book had moved and touched me enough that I got it for all the deacons and pastors as well as some of the other men I mentor and work with.  Yet God keeps ripping deeper.  Today I read while the kids were in swimming lessons and I found my own head swimming.  Man, this is going to require more prayer and thought, not on IF I should apply it or HOW I should apply it, but just on summoning up the honesty and courage to apply it.  There's no mystery to figure out.  Its clear cut.  I just need to be obedient to the Spirit's teaching.  I love His work, but I hate it.  When God really works, it is a crucifixion.  "If any man comes after me, let me deny himself, pick up his cross, and follow me."  Those are real words describing reality, not some vague spiritual nonsense.

Some Quotes

"Worship as entertainment, defined as the ritual excitement of the central nervous system to temporarily relieve boredom, is a shortcut to the believer's soul-deep satisfaction of serving God through vertically oriented worship." ..."If we entertain people, our church will grow.  If we lead in worship, our church may shrink until it is composed of  a group of people who want to worship.  The church that worships will have many visitors who never come back, and a few who cannot stay away."

"People don't want to be led through the valley of the shadow of death; they want the valley of the shadow of death to be managed for them. ...In the management model, churches don't have sins.  Rather, the church is the victim of the chaotic world it lives in."

"A leader lives with the church through every ugly bit of its corporate life, whereas the chief concern of management is to avoid every ugly bit of its corporate life.  The strategy of management as ministry is to avoid the pitfalls of the corporate life of the church by abstracting the pitfalls and following a program to avoid them.  But in the Christian life we are not meant to avoid pitfalls; we are meant to live our lives through the pitfalls as the actual stuff of life in Christ."

"The soul of the church is being lost to a pandering pastorate.  The church needs pastors who lead the church in repentence with love.  The church needs pastoral leadership that refuses to take shortcuts and has the courage to allow the church to suffer so that the whole church can be a parable of Jesus.  When the pastor takes the church off the Way of the Cross, the church stops being the parable of Jesus, the body of Christ."

"We think we pander to people because we are insecure.  We flatter ourselves with our psychological shortcomings." (right between my eyes!) "We excuse our sin by saying we have a need to be liked.  But pandering is not a psychological problem.  Pandering is a moral problem.  We pander to people's desires for shortcuts becasue we don't want to walk the Way of the Cross with them." OWWW!  Man, that hits me.  That is me.  Oh Lord, may I learn repentence more than boldness.  May I have my eyes on you, not the people.  The Way of the Cross is sooo much harder, but I want no other way.  Other ways seem so much easier and more attractive (Luke 4), but the devil is a liar.

There's more, but that's enough for one blog post.

Luke 23:34 "But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves."

Proverbs 14:12  "There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death."

These verses apply to all of us.  Most people are trying to do right, at least their view of it.   Sometimes our view of right can get pretty warped by what we feel is right for us.  Even when we are trying to do the right thing over all, our execution can really stink at times.  We end up with bad results, bad habits, hurt feelings, damaged relationships, poor outcomes, all because we were just trying to do the right thing or do right by us.

I don't know how many times I have been told by someone that they didn't mean for something to happen that had happened.  Of course not.  Few in their right mind ever set in motion a chain of events that they know will lead to hurt or disappointment.  Couples don't enter into marriage expecting a painful, bitter divorce.   No one takes a job planning to get fired and have trouble finding a new job.  No one joins a church planing to be a part of an ugly split that turns people off from God.  I could give more examples.  The point is that these things happen not because we planned on them, but because we do things our way, the way that seems right to us, and that way, apart from God, is death.

I used the phrase, 'no one in their right mind.'  There are people who do make bad choices on purpose and we question their mental health.  Hitler, Stalin, and lesser known murderers and criminals.  They do wrong on purpose.  Maybe not crazy in the technical sense, but not thinking straight.

The problem is, while we are not technically mentally ill, the Bible says that we are all spiritually ill.     Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?       Romans 7:18-19 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. (19) For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.

So, Father, forgive us, we don't know what we're doing.  And when others hurt us, we need to remember that phrase.  We are called to forgive as God forgives us, which means that when people hurt us, we need to forgive them.  We're all a mess without God.

As for our actions, it is good to make sure that we are living according to Scripture, not according to what feels good or seems good to us.  My pleasure seems fun to live for, but that way doesn't end well.

There are several different words that are translated "discipline" in the Bible.  Each one has a different sense to it.  Here are five different meanings to New Testament Greek words translated discipline in the NASB.  :  Self Control- 2 Tim 1:7, Beat up, Subdue-1 Cor 9:27, Train, correction-1 Cor 11:32, Eph 6:4, Arrangement, order-Col 2:5, Body Training, exercise-1 Tim 4:8-9.

I list these because I am working on having a more disciplined life and these words capture what I am seeking to have.  Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and as I allow the Spirit to have greater control of my life, I trust that I will see more self-control in my life, both in my choices, my words, and my reactions.

The idea of beating up my body and doing bodily training are two more meanings that I seek to accomplish.  I have been working on getting more physically fit.  My week in the Dominican Republic helped me along on that goal with good physical activity all week.  Since I have returned I am working to be disciplined with my exercise and eating.

Arrangement is the fourth aspect of discipline that I am seeking.  To have my life in greater order, working ahead on projects, managing my schedule and my time wisely.  This is important to that the things that I should be accomplishing I am.  It is too easy to say that I am too busy.  If I discipline/order my life I will have time to do the important things.

Finally training and correction.  I am always in need of these and need to keep my heart open to them.  I am reading a great book right now that is giving me great training.  I also need to be constantly ready to be corrected as others point out things that I should be doing differently, more of, or not at all.  When I get stubborn and proud and don't want or listen to correction, I become the Bible's definition of a fool.

So, a big goal for me this winter/spring is discipline, in all its flavors.  That extends to this blog as well.  I try to discipline myself to take the 10-20 minutes a day that a blog post requires.  Some days may have to be skipped, but if I am skipping more than I am writing, you will know that I am struggling in some of my areas of discipline.  So keep an eye on the blog and feel free to ask me about Discipline.