Discipline Not Joyful

My kids do not enjoy it when they need to be disciplined. Most of the time this discipline is in the form of consequences for their actions. They fool around at the dinner table so they don't get dessert. They take too long getting ready for bed so they don't get a bedtime story. Often when we have to discipline in this way, they get upset and they tend to blame their mom and I for their unhappiness. My older son is very apt to say, "You aren't being nice to me!" The Bible describes this reaction as it says, "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful." That's for sure. But that doesn't mean that it is a bad thing. Sometimes we need correction because we are wrong. However, pride starts early and we don't like to admit that we are wrong, even to ourselves. I have watched the behavior I've seen in my kids manifest itself with adults too. Sometimes it is necessary for church leadership to bring discipline to bear. This is usually because someone is refusing to deal with something or accept their role in a problem. As with my kids, church discipline is not about punishment as much as allowing or creating consequences to help demonstrate that behavior needs to change. For those who are teachable, this can be a very positive thing, even if it is sorrowful. Often though, I hear the same phrase as I get from my son, "you aren't being nice to me!' Tough love is just that, tough. There are those that see any toughness as a lack of love. For them there is either tough or love, but they don't understand that both can take place. Correction and tough love are an essential part of love. I don't want to think about what my kids would be like if I didn't discipline them in love. They may not like it, but later they will be thankful for it. May all of us, whether parents or church leaders, try to make sure that we provide discipline, but always in love, and provide love, but not be afraid to correct.